Quick After-Battle Triple Chocolate Cake
transcribed by Patricia C. Wrede

Transcribers note: This is the original recipe as used by the barbarian swordsman. Amounts and instructions for somewhat more conventional kitchens are given in parentheses.

First, round up the prisoners and have them make a good fire. Pile shields around it to hold in heat. (Preheat oven to 350.)

Assemble ingredients:
Butter the size of a good spear head (1 stick butter or margarine)
A good big fistful of brown sugar (1/2 cup brown sugar, packed)
A big fistful of white sugar (1/2 cup white sugar)
A couple of eggs (2 large eggs)
A good splash of vanilla (2 teaspoons vanilla extract)
Secret Magic Ingredient (2 Tablespoons blackstrap molasses)
Milk from a chocolate cow (2/3 cup chocolate milk)
A small fistful of cocoa (1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa)
Two or three fistfuls of flour (1 cup flour)
Pinch of salt (1/2 teaspoon salt)
Two pinches soda (1 teaspoon baking soda)
Hunk of chocolate, hacked into bits with second best sword (1 6-oz package semisweet chocolate chips)

Pick a small shield and clean it, then grease it up good. Sprinkle in a little flour and save it for later. (Grease & flour a 13"x 9" pan)

In somebody else's helm, beat butter, brown sugar and white sugar together--make sure helm is clean before using! Add eggs & beat some more. Add vanilla and Secret Magic Ingredient and beat it all again. (In a bowl, cream butter or margarine until fluffy. Add brown sugar and white sugar and mix thoroughly. Add eggs, vanilla and molasses, beating well after each addition.)

Stir flour, cocoa, salt and soda together in whatever is handy. Add to batter, alternating with milk. Beat real good. Stir in chocolate pieces. (In a separate container, stir in flour, cocoa, salt and baking soda together. Beat into butter mixture, alternating with chocolate milk. Beat for 1-2 min, then fold in chocolate chips.)

Dump batter into greased shield. Bake next to fire while gathering loot. Give helm back to sucker who let you mix cake in it; promise him first piece if he gets too mad. Eat warm while counting loot. Serves two. (Pour batter into greased and floured 13" x 9" pan. Bake 35-40 minutes. Cake should be sort of flat and solid, not light and puffy. Let cool before cutting, or the pieces will fall apart and gooey chocolate chips will get all over everything. Sprinkle with powdered sugar or top with whipped cream. Serves a lot more than two, even if everybody really likes chocolate.)
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