| Taoism: |
Shit happens |
| Confucianism: |
Confucius say, "Shit happens." |
| Buddhism: |
If shit happens, it isn't really shit. |
| Zen Buddhism: |
Shit is, and is not. |
| Zen Buddhism #2: |
What is the sound of shit happening? |
| Hinduism: |
This shit has happened before. |
| Islam: |
If shit happens, it is the will of Allah. |
| Islam #2: |
If shit happens, blame Israel
|
| Islam Fundamentalist: |
If shit happens, kill the person responsible.
|
| Catholicism: |
If shit happens, you deserve it. |
| Protestantism: |
Let shit happen to someone else. |
| Presbyterian: |
This shit was bound to happen. |
| Episcopalian: |
It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve
the right wine with it. |
| Methodist: |
It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape
juice with it. |
| Congregationalist: |
Shit that happens to one person is just as good as
shit that happens to another. |
| Unitarian: |
Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that
happens to another. |
| Lutheran: |
If shit happens, don't talk about it. |
| Fundamentalism: |
If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are
born again. (Amen!) |
| Fundamentalism #2: |
If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay. |
| Fundamentalism #3: |
Shit must be born again. |
| Televangelist: |
Send more shit. |
| Judaism: |
Why does this shit always happen to us? |
| Calvinism: |
Shit happens because you don't work. |
| Seventh Day Adventism: |
No shit shall happen on Saturday. |
| Creationism: | God made all shit. |
| Secular Humanism: |
Shit evolves. |
| Christian Science: |
When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray! |
| Christian Science #2: |
Shit happening is all in your mind. |
| Unitarianism: |
Come let us reason together about this shit. |
| Quakers: |
Let us not fight over this shit. |
| Utopianism: |
This shit does not stink. |
| Capitalism: |
That's MY shit. |
| Communism: |
It's everybody's shit. |
| Feminism: |
Men are shit. |
| Chauvanism: |
We may be shit, but you can't live without us...
|
| Commercialism: |
Let's package this shit. |
| Impressionism: |
From a distance, shit looks like a garden. |
| Idolism: |
Let's bronze this shit. |
| Existentialism: |
Shit doesn't happen; shit IS. |
| Existentialism #2: |
What is shit, anyway? |
| Stoicism: |
This shit is good for me. |
| Hedonism: |
There is nothing like a good shit happening! |
| Mormonism: |
God sent us this shit. |
| Mormonism #2: |
This shit is going to happen again. |
| Wiccan: |
An it harm none, let shit happen. |
| Scientology: |
If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157. |
| Jehovah's Witnesses: |
*Knock* *Knock* Shit happens. |
| Jehovah's Witnesses #2: |
May we have a moment of your time to show you
some of our shit? |
| Jehovah's Witnesses #3: |
Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only 144,000 shall survive its happening. |
| Moonies: |
Only really happy shit happens. |
| Hare Krishna: |
Shit happens, krishna krishna. Shit happens, rama rama. |
| Rastafarianism: |
Let's smoke this shit! |
| Zoroastrianism: |
Shit happens half on the time. |
| Church of SubGenius: |
BoB shits. |
| 12 Stepper: |
Deal with shit one day at a time. |
| 12 Stepper #2: |
Let go, let Shit. |
| Agnostic: |
Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not. |
| Agnostic #2: |
Did someone shit? |
| Agnostic #3: |
What is this shit? |
| Satanism: |
SNEPPAH TIHS. |
| Atheism: |
What shit? |
| Atheism #2: |
I can't believe this shit! |
| Nihilism: |
No shit. |
