Coven Pecking Order
Wonder what all those degrees and titles are for? Here's your answer!

  • High Priest--Leaps buildings with a single bound, is more powerful than a locomotive, is faster than a speeding bullet, walks on water, and dictates policy to God.


  • 3rd Degree Initiate--Leaps short buildings in a single bound, more powerful than a switch engine, is just as fast as a speeding buller, walks on water if the sea is calm, and talks to God.


  • 2nd Degree Initiate--Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds, is faster than a BB, more powerful than a railroad hand-car, walks on water in a swimming pool, and talks to God if a special request if approved.


  • 1st Degree Initiate--Clears a small hut, loses the race with a locomotive, can fire a speeding bullet, swims well, and is occasionally addressed by God.


  • Neophyte--Runs into small buildings, can recognize a locomotive two out of three times, frequently wets self with a water pistol, can do the doggy paddle, and mostly mumbles to animals.


  • High Priestess--Lifts tall buildings to walk under them, kicks locomotives off the tracks, catches speeding bullets in her teeth, and freezes water with a single glance.
    SHE IS GOD.


Back to Pagan Humor