Scotland's Depraved
(to the tune of "Scotland the Brave")
Chorus:
Bring me the whiskey, Mother,
I'm feeling frisky, Mother,
Bring me a sheep to keep me warm through the night;
Bring me my little brother,
He'll be my one true lover
England may rule the world, but Scotland's depraved.
Bring me my little sister,
You'll see how much I've missed her
England may rule the world, but Scotland's depraved.
Bring me the preacher's daughter,
You'll see how much I've taught her
England may rule the world, but Scotland's depraved.
Bring me a little rabbit
I've got a nasty habit
England may rule the world, but Scotland's depraved.
Bring me the PVC pipe
That gerbil looks like my type
England may rule the world, but Scotland's depraved.
Bring me my favourite fellow,
Bring me the cherry jello
England may rule the world, but Scotland's depraved.
God knows I really wanna,
Bring out the greased Iguana
England may rule the world, but Scotland's depraved.
Bring out my little poochie,
We'll do the hootchie-cootchie
England may rule the world, but Scotland's depraved.
God knows I wanna disco,
Bring out the butter Crisco
England may rule the world, but Scotland's depraved.
Bring out the chimpanzees-es,
We'll give them our diseases
England may rule the world, but Scotland's depraved.
Bring out the platypuses,
They've got a thousand uses
England may rule the world, but Scotland's depraved.
Call out the Glasgow bobbies,
We'll teach them brand new hobbies
England may rule the world, but Scotland's depraved.
Dollies inflatable,
With morals debatable
England may rule the world, but Scotland's depraved.
Bring out a Bengal Lancer,
Dressed like a belly dancer
England may rule the world, but Scotland's depraved.
God knows I'm really randy,
Good thing I'm really handy
England may rule the world, but Scotland's depraved.
Bring out the chains and leather,
Bring out the ostrich feather,
England may rule the world, but Scotland's depraved.
Bring out my Uncle Neddie,
Clad in a tartan teddie
England may rule the world, but Scotland's depraved.
Swine, donkeys, sheep and cattle,
I'll make their jawbones rattle
England may rule the world, but Scotland's depraved.
I'm as horny as a klaxon,
I'll even take a Saxon
England may rule the world, but Scotland's depraved.
Bring out the sheets of rubber,
Whips, chains, and peanut butter,
England may rule the world, but Scotland's depraved.
Cosmic Central