Thank Gods I'm a Wiccan Girl!
(A Pagan Country Song)
by Nicole Chardenet

Well, Wicca in Kentucky is pretty laid back
Got a cauldron in my kitchen where I make the hard tack
Jack Daniels in my chalice on my altar in the shack
Thank Gods I'm a Wiccan girl!

Well, dancin' in the circle never did me no harm
Gotta fertilize the fields on my pappy's old farm
And naked muscled rednecks got a certain kind of charm
Thank Gods I'm a Wiccan girl!

Now I got mah boline, and I got my ath-am-ay
Got a sigil on my tractor, sign of Isis on my ashtray
Gonna 'nitiate my daughter on a week from next Friday
Thank Gods I'm a Wiccan girl!

When the work's all done I gather with my coven
Gonna do the Great Rite in the Circle with my husband
We been kissin' since we're kids, cuz he's my first cousin
Thank Gods I'm a Wiccan girl!

High Priestess Betty Lou hollers out, "Y'all come!"
High Priest Bubba follers, "Come and get y'all some!"
That's how we call the corners, cuz we're really kinda dumb
Thank Gods I'm a Wiccan girl!

I got mah pen-tack-el, and mah beeswax candle
Got mah sacred .38 with the bone-carved handle
That was from my first lover, he's my older brother Randall
Thank Gods I'm a Wiccan girl!

Gonna bless the outhouse, cuz we ain't got runnin' water
Cuz the stench ain't blowin' downwind like it oughter
And someone's gonna puke, and I think it's my daughter
Thank Gods I'm a Wiccan girl!

My other brother Cletus needs a good ass-kickin'
We told him "Bring a date, and make sure she's a Wiccan,"
And that old country boy brought mah mama's best chicken
Thank Gods I'm a Wiccan girl!

Now we're closin' the circle, merry meet and merry partin'
Bubba belches real loud as the feast is startin'
And he ain't allowed beans, cuz his other talent's fartin'
Thank Gods I'm a Wiccan girl!

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